The Joys of Parenting
by icecreamlover834
Summary: After years of being a parent, he concluded that parenting is so much harder than Algebra.Crellie.
1. scarred for life

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Degrassi

**Note: **Not my best piece of work, that's for sure. I guess this is what happens when insomnia just hits you like a brick. There is a lot of dialogue in here. Like A LOT of dialogue. I just had this idea in my head and I didn't know what to do with it, so behold…my crap-tastic creation.

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"So….bored….Chris Manning, entertain me" The fiery-redhead said. 

"No. I'm going through a scary phase in my life" He replied strumming his guitar.

"Oh, and what might that be?" She asked a smile appearing on her lips.

"I saw mom and dad…..do …it…last night" he chocked out.

She paused for a moment, gave him a look and laughed so hard. She fell from her position on the couch, to the floor beside him.

"Shut up, Julia. It's not funny" he said looking down

"Oh, yes it is." She said in between laughter.

"You're suppose to be my faithful twin sis, the one who helps me get through tough situations…or in this case an engraved mental image" he replied.

She calmed herself down, stood up and brushed imaginary lint off of her skirt. She then processed to sit down in a wooden chair beside the couch, and gestured him to take a seat.

"Please, Julia not the psychiatrist thing again. Do you know how awkward it is for me, when you do that?" He pleaded.

"Do you know how weird it is for me, when someone tells me you fucked another girl at school… when I just heard all the details from you?" She inquired quirking an eyebrow.

He gave a big sigh and lied on the couch. "Fine, go ahead"

"Okay, so how exactly did this happen?" she asked, resting her hands on top of her legs.

"Well….it happened late last night when I was going down to get a glass of milk."

_Late Last Night…_

"_So, like I was like thinking, that like maybe I should like get this totally cool haircut, that I, like saw on Laguna Beach yesterday" the voice on the other end of the line chirped. _

"_Yeah…that sounds great, Stacy" he replied bored out of his mind. _

"_You know what; I think I should call you back. I have to…ummmm..."He scanned the room to think of an excuse, and saw his guitar up on its stand. "Tune my guitar, like right now…really bad…it's so bad, it's not even funny…so…bye!" He said hanging up the phone as fast as he can._

"_Wow, I can totally see the love in this room" a sarcastic voice said behind him._

_He turned around and saw his mother in the doorway, brushing her hair. _

"_Oh, hi mom!" he replied._

"_What, no hug for mommy? And here I thought that those seven hours of labor, actually meant something to you" She said giving a big sigh for dramatic effect. _

"_I guess when your son is finally sixteen, he just doesn't care about his hard-working mother anymore" She fake- sobbed turning around to walk away. _

"_Mom, you know I love you" He said giving her a hug. "But, I think I'm getting too old for this" he added._

"_Pssshhhh…teenagers" She replied throwing her hands up in the air._

"_So…who's this very interesting girl you were jus talking to?" She asked taking a seat on the end of his bed._

"_She's a friend…"her mother gave him a look "A girl friend…who's really, really, really annoying. At first, I thought her chatter was kind of cute but then she kept talking and talking and talking. She never stops! Oh, not to mention her topics of choice, make-up, gossip, clothes, shoes…oh my god!" _

"_Wow…that's some girl"_

"_I'm breaking up with her tomorrow"_

"_My son the heart breaker"_

"_I just don't know what to say or where for that matter"_

"_Just tell her straight up, it'll be easier for the both of you"_

"_Mom, you think I should get her to break up with me?"_

"_What? No! That would hurt her even more"_

"_But it'll be easier for me!"_

"_Think of the poor girl!"_

"_Fine…I'll just say it straight up"_

"_A mother knows best…well not all the time but most of the time"_

"Chris!" Julia exclaimed, slapping him on the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" He asked rubbing his head.

"Can you please get to the point already? I'm hungry and thirsty and I have a science report to do"

"You're ahead of your science class, Julia. You're ahead in all of your classes. Just yesterday, I saw you finish a history essay that was due _two_ months from now."

"Hey buddy, don't try to change the subject. Get back to the story already"

"Fine, just don't interrupt me" Chris said twiddling his thumbs.

"_It's getting late, Chris. You should go to bed, you have school tomorrow" she said getting off the bed, and heading out the door. _

"_Good night, mom" Chris replied hopping into bed making himself comfy._

"_Good night, Chris" she said turning off the lights and closing the door._

_One hour later…_

"_I can't sleep, damn it! " Chris exclaimed throwing his comforter off of him. He walked out of his room to get a glass of milk when he heard people talking…and giggling? _

"_Craig…Think of the children" she said a moan escaping form her mouth._

"_The children are fine, Ellie. You deserve a break, you work too hard. It'll be fun" he replied kissing her neck. _

"_Craig, please don't…" she barely had time to finish her sentence when a pair of lips ambushed hers. They were now on the couch, practically ripping each other clothes off. Moans and heavy breathing was exchanged between the two, touching and feeling each other like there was no tomorrow…_

"Whoa…Chris, I don't know what to say"

"Yeah, that's right you should be shocked" he said running his hand through his brown hair.

"So…you really saw them…do…it?"

"The whole entire thing and all I wanted was a glass of milk to help me sleep."

"Why didn't you just look away?"

"I wanted to, but I couldn't pry my eyes out. It was like watching a car accident happen, you know you should stop watching but you can't seem to look away. I was so shocked I didn't know what to do!" he exclaimed.

"Wow, it was really that intense?"

"What I saw in that living room is so shocking; using the word intense to describe it would be the understatement of the whole fucking century!"

"Wait…did you just say living room?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You mean the living room we use to look at old photos, the one where dad taught me how to tie my shoelaces, and the one where I caught mom and dad doing it? That living room?"

"Yup, that living room…what? You saw mom and dad do it too?"

"Yeah, sure. They do it like….every second Tuesday of the month when they can."

"And you weren't shocked when you saw them go at it?"

"I was shocked, so shocked in fact that I dropped the glass of milk I was holding."

"And….?"

"Well, that little accident stopped them from letting me see more than I need to. Seeing them go at it was disturbing, but seeing their faces when they realized they were caught was just plain priceless." She said grinning at the memory.

"I should've stayed in my room that night, I should've just stayed in my room" he said staring at the ceiling.

"Don't worry bro you'll get over it."

"Easy for you to say, you only saw the first half. I saw the whole thing! I'm scarred for life now; I'm seriously scarred for life now"

"Here, take these" She said handing him her drumsticks. "It always makes me feel better"

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"See…what I told you, Craig!" Ellie hoarsely whispered.

"If I remember correctly you didn't say anything to me" He replied smiling.

"That's because, you cut me…." Craig brought her lips closer to him before she finished her sentence. Ellie broke the kiss and glared at him.

"What?" he asked playing dumb.

"See, that's exactly the kind of the reaction that got us in trouble"

"I wouldn't call it trouble, Elle more like….an awkward situation"

She glared at him and walked off, mumbling and crossing her arms on the way. He looked at her, then at his children. He turned in the direction of his beloved and thought "_I could talk to Chris tomorrow, right? I mean he is sixteen now, it's not like he haven't discussed it before. Besides, he has Julia to vent to right now. Yeah, tomorrow I'll talk to him tomorrow. But now, I have some making up to do…"_

Man, was he on for a ride. Parenting a teenager is more complicated than parenting a toddler. You can give a toddler a toy to make him forget things, but a teenager….that's quite a different story. Tsk, tsk, tsk what a shame….second day back from touring and he managed to scar his son for life, makes you wonder how he'll handle his daughter's boyfriends and driving privileges doesn't it….?


	2. Road Trip!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or Dairy Queen.**

_Remember kids, Read & Review!_

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Ahh…The good old family road trips, so full of song, so full of fun. If by song you mean screaming and arguing, and by fun you mean throwing things and complaining. Then, yes the Manning Children had lots of those.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" the girl in the backseat screamed.

"What is it, Julia?" He asked irritated. "_4 more hours, Craig Manning. Just 4 more god-damn, fucking hours" _He thought in his head, trying to keep his sanity.

"I want cake!" She replied, pointing out her window to the Dairy Queen.

"I'm thirsty, Dad" the boy beside her groaned.

"Julia, you're not getting cake. Chris, you drank water half an hour ago" He replied letting out a sigh.

"But…Daddy…."She said pouting, tears on the verge of falling.

"_No! Don't give in now! You can do this, Craig! Just 4 more hours! Man…what would Ellie do in this situation…" _he thought to himself. "_Oh, right…Ellie would have packed tons of bottled water for Chris, and gave Julia a notebook and a pen. Stupid! Why didn't you think of that, Craig Manning?"_

He stopped at the red light and searched for some paper and a pen. Oh, crackerjacks. No, paper! Wait, Napkins work too, right? He took a handful of napkins and gave them to the girl. Pen, pen, pen….where would I put a pen? Oh, right the glove compartment! He opened the glove compartment and low and behold there was the pen! He threw the pen to Julia, and she caught it in her hands (Amazingly good, I might add).

He looked at her; she was smiling now, doing calculus on her napkin. He looked over at the boy and he was still frowning. Chris placed his head against the car window; his legs were brought up to his chest, his shoes abandoned on the car floor. The little boy looked tired and was clutching the armrest. Craig felt so bad. He mentally slapped himself for doing this, but when the traffic light turned green he turned into the Dairy Queen.

He walked in there, hand in hand with his children. The wait inline wasn't that long and soon it was their turn.

"Hi, welcome to Dairy Queen. How may I help you?" the cashier said cheerfully.

"Umm….can I have one cake for the girl, 10 bottles of water for the boy and a Moolatté, please" He said looking at him.

"Uh…sure, for here or to go?" the man asked typing in the order.

"To go, please" Craig replied.

They were back on the road again. Julia and Chris Manning were happy and content, while Craig was still sane and enjoying the silence. But, of course that silence didn't last very long….

"Chris….wanna play shadow?" the little girl asked a grin appearing on her lips.

"What's that?"

"What's that?" she repeated.

"Stop that, Julia"

"Stop that, Julia" she mimicked twirling her red hair around her finger.

"Fine, you know. Let's not play shadow, let's play…." The boy looked outside his window and saw a yellow car. "Yellow car!" He screamed punching his twin in the arm.

She rubbed her arm and glared at him.

"Eiffel Tower!" She yelled and swung her legs off the floor to kick her brother in the gut. Soon, enough a war broke out in the Manning Family van.

Punches were thrown at each other, kicks were exchanged, and cake and bottles of water were flying, screaming and insults were heard, would you believe me if I said they were only seven?

"Ha! You missed, sucker!" Julia screamed taking some cake and flinging it across the seat. Chris stuck his tongue out and opened his bottle of water, pouring half of it all over Julia's head. Julia screamed and responded by punching him. She was aiming for his stomach but instead kicked his hand, spilling water on the back of Craig's head. Craig slammed on his brakes and turned around to look at his children.

"Okay! Stop it, already!" Craig yelled grabbing the bottle out of Chris's hand.

"He started it…."the girl said crossing her arms.

"No, I didn't! If you didn't provoke me with your stupid mimicking game, I wouldn't have started the 'Yellow Car' game" he snapped back.

"Me! If you didn't punch me first, I wouldn't have kicked you!" She yelled back.

"Stop it!" Craig interjected. "That's it! No more sweets for you, Julia! And Chris, stop smirking because you're banned from playing any videogames"

_1 hour later…_

Yes, peace at last. He sighed and smiled at the silence. No more complaining, no more screaming, and definitely no more cake throwing and water pouring. Julia and Chris Manning were finally asleep.

He looked the road ahead of him, and remembered passing that sign before….

"_Oh, shit! No! Come on, I can't be lost! Not now!" _he let out a groan and kept on driving. _"Okay, if I keep on driving straight I'm sure to hit something…..right?" _

Julia woke up and saw her Dad strumming his fingers on the steering wheel. "_Oh, no…we're lost, again!" _she thought remembering last time they had a road trip. She leaned over and shook him awake. Her brother opened his eyes and she pointed at their Dad. _"Not again!" _he thought to himself.

"Dad, are we lost?" she asked.

"No, of course not" Craig replied.

"Are you sure? Remember last time you said that?" Chris said.

"We're not lost…we're just a little off course" he replied.

"Dad, we should ask for directions"

"No, we're fine"

"I'm gonna check the map" Chris said looking for the map.

"It's not here Chris, remember? We left it on the kitchen counter at HOME" Julia replied.

"Well, check the GPS system then" Chris said looking at his dad.

"Chris, this van doesn't have GPS" She replied.

"What? Why?" he asked clearly shocked at the lack of technology in the van.

"We went in the wrong direction last time, when we used the GPS system" Craig replied.

"We're going to die out here, aren't we?" Chris said sighing.

"Stop being a baby, Chris. We're not going to die out here, we're going to slowly rot away in the van and then eaten by birds" Julia replied.

"We're not going to die" Craig replied still sticking with his 'Drive straight and you're bound to hit something plan'.

_9 years later…_

"What are you doing, sis?" Chris asked sipping his cup of water.

"Packing for the road trip" she replied placing a big box into the trunk.

He looked at her and asked "Do we have GPS?"

"Yes, and maps too." She replied.

"Water, candy, notebooks, spare tires, a baseball bat?" he asked again.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes and why would we need a bat?" she replied looking at him.

"Just in case, some psychopath decides to attack the Manning family" he replied.

"Mom is coming right?" she questioned clutching onto the keys.

"I think so….but if she isn't, no matter what Dad claims you're driving" he said.

"Okay, good. We don't want a trip down memory lane again"

"Oh, mom told me to tell you guys that she's sorry and can't go on the road trip" Craig said walking over to the van. Julia and Chris looked at each other. Julia closed the trunk and dashed for the driver's seat.

"I'm driving!" She screamed putting on her seatbelt on as quickly as she could. Chris dove for the passenger seat and yelled "I call shotgun!" Craig looked at his children's strange behavior and just sat in the backseat.

The good old Manning family road trip, there is just no better way to bond with your children…..


	3. Career Choices

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi  
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A/N: This chapter is probably not my most comical one, but I hope you still like it! Read and review:-)**

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**_Career Choices_**

Julia Elizabeth Manning wanted to be a surgeon when she grew up. Perhaps it was the cool, metal scalpel that attracted her to it. Or, maybe it was the title that she loved. Or, it could be a combination of both. That was what she told her school councilor when he asked her what her career options were. Oh, that and because she "loves helping mankind". Though what she told everyone was not the truth. She wanted to be surgeon for a reason that, no girl her age could understand.

She wanted to be a surgeon, because she wanted to see the bloody truth. She knew that once she made an incision it couldn't be undone, everything had to be worked out before. She had to be right, she was always right. No matter what. No one could question her in an emergency room, because she was the expert. She was the doctor, and she was always right. Being right is an ego booster, but that's only half the reason why she wanted to be a surgeon.

What drew her most to her chosen profession, was the inside the patient itself. The truth that speaks in veins and arteries, bloods and cells, the known fact of living since forever. Everyone is the same. No matter how different we look on the inside, no matter how many faces we pull, lies we tell, we are all the same. We work using the same mechanism, using the same basic principle. We are all the same. And that is why; Julia Elizabeth Manning wanted to become a surgeon.

Now…Chris Manning was a different story. He didn't know what he wanted to do with his life, where he wants to be in 20 years, or what kind of life he wanted to live. He couldn't decide on anything. He always made sure he knew the consequences of his actions, making flow charts in his head, calculating probabilities of events, making sure what he did was right. And that's what he always did. Making sure what he did was right according to him.

He knew that the world wasn't just white and black, good and evil. He knew it was patches of grey. Though, he rather have black and white in his opinion, it's less complicated that way. And it's that kind of thinking that holds him back sometimes, that idealistic thinking. So, you know what Chris Manning decided? He decided that the school councilor can go screw himself, because how the hell does a 16- year-old- kid decides what to do with the rest of his life span? Well…other than Julia, but she's just different that way.

Julia walked into the living room munching on her beloved chocolate bar, when she saw a pencil hurled at her. (A HB No.2 Pencil to be exact, because you never know when your teacher will give you a surprise bubble test.) She ducked and looked at her attacker.

"What the hell, Chris!" She yelled throwing the remainder of her chocolate at him. He caught the chocolate in his hand and took a bite.

"Shut up, Julia. I have to finish this stupid Career thingy" He replied agitated.

She sat down beside him and looked at his blank paper.

"You didn't write anything on it"

"Yeah, I sort of noticed that princess"

"Just make something up" she replied picking up the pen on the table in front of him.

"Like what?" he asked curious at her reply.

"Well, some kid in my class said he wanted to be an assassin when he finishes school."

"An assassin? Please elaborate"

"Well, the teacher asked the class about their goals and dreams and she asked him. And he's like 'I want to be a top-class assassin when I'm out of this piece of crap you call a school' and then she said 'Please refrain from foul language, and would you care to explain to the class on how you want to accomplish such a um….goal?' then he's like 'Well, I can go the cool federal way. Or, I can go the gangster way and do it illegally and get paid for it' and yeah that's basically it" she finished

"Wow….just wow. What a retard" Chris replied.

"So, yeah. Make something up"

"What should I put?"

"I know! You can be a proctologist!"

"Ewww….Julia, I don't like the idea of spending the rest of my life looking at people's 'southern regions'" he replied making a face.

"Fine, then be a ….waiter!"

He looked at her, raising his eyebrow skeptically. "A waiter, Julia? Seriously, a waiter?"

"Yeah, sure. Every restaurant needs a waiter. Maybe, if you're really good you can work as a 5 star restaurant waiter! I bet that'll be cool, serving nice hot plates of gourmet food" she said smiling.

"No."

"Geez, Chris stop being so picky. Your priority tonight is to finish this 'stupid Career thingy', right?"

"Yeah, but I want to put something reasonable on it."

"Argh! I can't work with you, Chris Manning. You're such a diva!" She yelled throwing her hands up in the air and walking out.

He watched her walk out and sighed. "_Smooth move, Einstein"_ he said in his head frustrated. He banged his head on the table, hoping that ideas will come to his head. If life were like that (You wouldn't need a Visa Card. Ha-ha!) Chris Manning wouldn't be here in the first place.

"Okay class, I want each of you to read out what you wrote for homework" She said folding her hands in her lap. Each student read out what they had, some were inspiring, some were half-done, some even didn't write anything. And finally it was his turn.

He stood up and faced the class. His face was unreadable, his stance was laid back and his tone was monotonous.

"When I grow up, I want to be the man on the moon"

The class looked at one another, confusion written on their face and then they began to laugh. Chris smiled and sat back down. _"Screw life plans, I'm too busy living life to actually sit down and write them." _He thought and with that in his mind, Chris Manning could finally sleep tonight.


End file.
